Update…

At the hospital, having contractions all on my own! Wooo. (Rage has subsided.)

I really am going to be pregnant forever.

I was supposed to go to the hospital tonight at 8pm to get induced and FINALLY have this baby. They called at 6pm and told me that they are too full, and that I can’t come in. They advised me to “call back at ten” and maybe they can get me in at midnight. If not, I am “on the schedule for the morning.” Um, like I was on the schedule for tonight? That’s reassuring. So, here I stay at home, watching the Democratic National Convention, eating ice cream and BEING PREGNANT FOREVER.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is so unfair. I feel sort of bad for the nurse whose job it is to call all the women who have been pregnant for what feels like a year and cancel their inductions. It was all I could do to restrain myself and remain civil, when all I wanted to do was throw my phone at the wall and scream. I am probably going to need more ice cream. I’ll update later when something actually happens besides me sitting around in my pajamas, incubating a kindergartner.

I am 40+ weeks pregnant. I am no longer required to be productive.

Back when I was in my final weeks of work and freaking out about how much stuff I had left to do both at work in my personal life, I kept a to-do list. A very long to-do list. I kept telling everyone that the last thing on my to-do list was to have a baby, and once I completed everything on my list that came before that, I would be able to relax. I am happy to report that I have actually completed about 95% of the tasks on the to-do list, and have moved almost completely into Relax Before Baby Arrives Mode. In case anyone was worried, here is proof that I am really, truly taking it easy:

How I spent my LAST babyless weekend:

SATURDAY:

8am: Wake up.

9am: Meet Jen for breakfast at Gravy. Eat a lot and gossip a lot. Things we are best at. Besides G-Chatting.

10:30am: Go by my Portland house to pick up some stuff I still have there (prompting a call from Aaron later, worried that someone broke in since I locked the deadbolt, something he never does. Yes, someone broke in and stole all the pink candles and pregnancy books, and then decided the house wasn’t secure enough.)

11am: Home Depot. Tracked down tiny pegs to hang shelves that we MUST hang in cabinets before Holland arrives. Decided Home Depot employees are incompetent and that place is hell on earth. Found pegs myself. Am exhausted from effort.

11:30am: Arrive back at home. Change back into default outfit of maternity leave (boxer shorts, tank top and my green robe. I am officially the weird pregnant cat lady of my neighborhood).

11:35: See what the cats are doing.

11:45am: Fall asleep.

5pm: Wake up. 

5:15pm: Call Emily, from whom I had four texts and four missed calls of the OMG ARE YOU HAVING THE BABY variety.

5:30: See what the cats are doing.

5:45: Emily arrives.

6pm: Joe comes home from Sauvie’s Island. Entertains us. Goes to bed.

6:30pm: Emily and I install my car seat base. We are successful. Or rather, she is. I watch. We decide I am a soccer mom.

7pm: Emily and I pack my hospital bag and pick out Holland’s going home and picture outfits. Squeal. Fold baby socks.

8pm to 10pm: Lay around the house, read. See what cats are doing.

10pm: Joe still isn’t awake, and thus, cannot cook us dinner. Mom and I eat warmed up leftover taco meat with cheese on top with chips.

11pm: Go to safeway for ice cream. Spend 10 minutes in the magazine aisle reading fitness magazines while holding a quart of double chocolate brownie ice cream, hot fudge and caramel topping. Decide even I can’t bring myself to purchase that combo, and leave the magazines behind.

SUNDAY:

Midnight: Joe wakes up, leaves to watch olympic basketball with his friends. Emma wakes up Mom and me. We entertain ourselves by looking at all my old pictures on my Flickr account, watching Fresh Prince reruns and spying on the cats.

3am: Finally start to fall asleep again. Joe comes home, wakes up me, Mom and all the animals.

4am: Mom makes us macaroni and cheese with kosher hot dogs. I tell Joe that I used his iTunes to download a Jonas Brothers song, to which he replies “MOM! Alexia used my password to buy a Jonas Brother’s song on my iTunes! Now someday when I try to buy a house my credit will be ruined!”

4:30am: See what the cats are doing.

4:45am: Go to bed.

8am: Wake up. Promptly go back to bed.

2pm: Wake up again. Take inventory of house. Everyone else is asleep. Even the cats.

2:30pm: Go to Burger King. Eat. Wonder how I could have forgotten how amazing Burger King is.

3pm: See what cats are doing.

3:30pm: Write blog.

4pm: My mom just woke up and said something about how we have stuff to do before Holland arrives. I am going back to bed. Right after I see what the cats are doing.

How I spent my afternoon

Also known as, a serious dose of reality. Holy crap!!! Chantelle’s not pregnant anymore and soon I won’t be either!!! I need to get ready!

Dog-Sitting

It’s like I already have babies to take care of. And they aren’t even mine!

This is a rare example of them both being good at the same time. Two seconds after this they got up and ran into the other room to bark at a noise. Just trying to keep me and my unborn child safe. Thanks guys.

August 21st

Today is my due date. I do not have a baby yet. I am okay with this, although every other person that I know does not seem to be. I still get the constant questions about when she is going to come, am I still pregnant, and all that, which is understandable. I had a doctor appointment yesterday and I am still only one cenimeter dialated, still having no contractions, still no closer (physically) to having her than I was three weeks ago. It’s funny to me that months ago I imagined this being the cut off date. Like, I have been counting down to this day for so long, and now it’s here, and I am still not ready. I still have to install the carseat, put the clean bedding into her bassinet, finish unpacking my stuff, pack my hospital bag, and so on. I am not working anymore, so that makes it easier to get stuff done. It’s also really nice to be able to sleep when I feel like it and basically take it easy. I spend my time eating, napping, going online, watching tv, reading, working on “projects,” cleaning, dogsitting and cat wrangling. It’s pretty nice. A friend of mine who was due earlier this week drank castor oil on tuesday night and had her baby yesterday! While this has made a lot of (impatient) people I know ask me why I don’t do this, all it has made me do is start to freak out a little about how real this is, and how soon I am going to have a a real, live baby. I am fine waiting a few more days. My one grievance: I really thought she was going to be a Leo. The cutoff is tomorrow, and I don’t think she is going to be coming out anytime soon. So Holland is going to be a Virgo apparently. I don’t even know what to think about that.

My Exciting Life

I apologize for the lack of blogging these days. I have a variety of excuses which I will spare you. Anyway. To sum things up, I am 40 weeks pregnant, I still haven’t had the baby, etc, etc, etc. I am officially on maternity leave, starting today, which is awesome. And, I am living in Vancouver now, and have been for about three weeks. I spend my time washing baby clothes, sorting through baby clothes, unpacking my stuff and wrangling the eight animals we have living here. Yes, eight. Luckily, my mom’s house is pretty big so you don’t really notice. There is my brother’s dog Emma (the doberman, she is the same age as Basil), my mom’s dog McCoy (the golden retriever, he is about five) (they are annoying, but we all know I am not a dog person), then there are the cats: Marilyn (who we got when I was 15. She is small, black and white and crazy), Juanita (the alpha animal of the house, a really sweet tortiseshell who invited herself into our house back when I was 17. We kept her–turned out she was pregnant!), Pierre (the orange and white male, one of juanita’s kittens, he can’t stand the drama with the female cats and spends most of his time out in the garage) and Roxy (small, black and white and SHY, the runt of Juanita’s litter, spends all her time on my mom’s bed.) Then there are my cats, Basil, who we all know and love, and Mia (who is technically Joe’s cat, but I have had her for about the last year.) Anyway, add me, Joe, my mom and SOON the baby, and you could make a sitcom out of our living situation. I actually like it though, because it gives me something to do at all times. I was pretty bored at my old house, sitting around, watching tv, sleeping. Here I have animal drama to tend to, projects to work on, people to cook for me, people to talk to…did I mention I have a lot of baby clothes that need sorting? I swear, this girl has more clothes than me. Anyway, I am going to go find something to eat for breakfast and then maybe try and be productive. I leave you with a video of Basil’s first supervised trip into our backyard:

No, I am not in labor

I have had the same conversation with every person I know in the last week. Here is what you need to know:

1. No, I haven’t had the baby yet.

2. Yes, I promise I will let you know when I go into labor.

3. No, really. I PROMISE I will tell you.

I have been really busy moving, unpacking, doing laundry, cleaning out my car, trying to get everything wrapped up at work and being really pregnant to do much writing but I have new pictures and some things to write about and I will VERY SOON.

And yes, I will let you know when I have the baby.