My baby is almost a month old and I suck at blogging

So…it’s been a while. I don’t know why I stopped writing here. It’s definitely not because I am too busy. Sure, I have a newborn, but if anything that keeps me home and doing even less than before. Holland and I do a lot of sitting around…watching tv…eating…drinking wine (okay, that’s me, not her). And we are online a lot. So really, I have no excuse. I just feel a lot less interesting now that I am no longer pregnant. Now I am just regular Alexia, with an unusually cute baby.

Holland will be one month on Sunday, which is unbelievable. The past month has gone by really fast, and I feel like she has been here forever. September has been possibly the least productive month of my entire life. Besides the months after I graduated from college in 2004 and did nothing but sunbathe during the day and go out at night. Ah, youth. Funny, I was also living at home during that time. And not working. Just like now! Not working is not good for me. I get really lazy. I am really bad at staying on a schedule and staying structured on my own, which I think is something that might be important when one has a newborn. Excuse me,  a four-week-old. But loosely, this is our day: Wake up around 4am, Holland chatters away in her bassinet until I wake up and feed her. At that point she gets to sleep with me, because I am too tired to put her back to bed. We wake up at some point during The Today Show, and stay in bed until The View comes on. Then we get up, let the dogs out, and go to room we call “the great room” at my house. Because it’s so great? Ask my mom about that one. Anyway, I go online for a while, and at some point we go to McDonald’s so I can get a diet coke. Then we come home and I make something like a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. I eat a lot of grilled cheese. I have rediscovered my hatred of cooking, and very often will go without eating rather than exert the energy necessary to make a meal for myself. Afternoons are often spent visiting people in Portland or running errands in Portland, or generally finding an excuse to go to Portland, because Vancouver bores us. Evenings we usually hang out at home, with my mom and brother (bonus points when they cook for us). I tend to either fall asleep at 7pm or stay up until 2am, depending on how much Holland is sleeping and/or letting me sleep that day. Sometimes people come to visit us in the evenings, although that is starting to die off.

Sometimes I go three days without showering. Sometimes I look at myself and at Holland, decide we look like a couple of ragamuffins, and get us both cleaned and dressed cute and leave the house, just to feel like a human being. Luckily for me, Holland is super easy to transport, and really doesn’t mind all the field trips I take her on. Getting out of the house is my saving grace these days, as I feel like I am in some weird state of limbo, like my life is on hold. I live with my mom. I am not working. I have this huge responsibility of a newborn, and at the same time, no responsibility at all.

I am going to start blogging again, on what will hopefully be a regular basis. I have no excuse, and Holland is starting to get really judgemental about how unproductive I am (”Mom, you suck!” Love, Holland.)