Perspective

A year ago I was fresh off maternity leave, back part-time at a job I hadn’t been at for three months, and feeling unsure of myself in my new role. I was broke (no, like BROKE) with pretty much no social life and about 20 more pounds of baby weight left to lose. Reading the blogs I wrote a year ago, seeing how absorbed I was in having an infant and how much I was still grieving for my old life…I had lost so much of myself in the year leading up to that point, and didn’t even know yet how far I would have to go before I would feel like myself again.

I have new problems now, single/working/broke “Mom” problems, and have admittedly spent most of this fall feeling sorry for myself. My life isn’t how I want it to be! How unfair! I work too much, I never have any money, Holland is basically always asleep when I am with her, not that I would have the energy to play with her anyway. I am making the same poor choices in relationships that I always have, I STILL live in fucking Vancouver. I continue to make lists of goals that I will probably never get to. (Wait, I thought you said these were NEW problems…?)

Things aren’t perfect, but I am so, so, SO much closer to where I want to be than I was a year ago. The worst is definitely over.