New Year’s, No Thanks

New Year’s Eve is my least favorite holiday. Yeah, you heard me. One would think I would love new years…it’s a major drinking holiday that involves sparkly clothing, staying up late and kissing boys…some of my favorite things. One would be wrong. New years is the worst sort of “all your eggs in one basket” type of night. Find the most fun place, somehow manage to get all your friends together, wear the cutest outfit, meet your future husband during the countdown to midnight, have the most fun night omg omg omg. Regardless, I have faithfully celebrated this stupid night for the past ten years. Faithfully. Dutifully, even. I am just not the sort of person who can happily sit at home while the world is out having fun without me (see all blog posts from 2008 for more information on this.) I have had a handful of super fun new years, a handful of really terrible new years, and a handful of uneventful new years. Below: A sampling from the past few years.

Here is a new years I have fond memories of:

2006. Oh what a great year this was. And this new year’s eve was one of the most fun and memorable nights of the year. Sadly, 2007 didn’t turn out so well. You could kind of say that things started to head downhill a bit after this new years. You could say that. If you wanted.

Exhibit A: 2007

Oh, do I look happy? That’s funny. Here I am, SEVEN weeks pregnant, on a bus tour of endless bars. It took literally every ounce of strenth in my body to get out of bed that day and get ready to go out. Totally sober and surrounded by the drunkest of the drunkos. Ready to ring in 2008, which was officially the worst year of my life. I feel very, very sorry for the Alexia in this picture.

Then we have last year:

One year later. This night was fun, but nothing super eventful or memorable. I did love my skirt though. A lot. I found it the other day and got so excited (ooh! I want to wear this!), put it on and realized I could now fit two of myself in it. Which made me very happy. Because the only thing I love more than a sequined skirt is major weight loss.

Onward to new year’s eve 2009. It probably won’t be amazing, but after it’s done, 2010 will be upon us. And 2010 is going to be a great year. Because I am pretty sure the universe owes me that.

Someday

Someday, I will set table settings for all of my guests at Thanksgiving.
Someday, Holland will run around the whole house, instead of just my bedroom.
Someday, I will have more than four dollars in my checking account at the end of the month.
Someday, I will own an apron.
Someday, I will cook.
Someday, I will live in Portland again.
Someday!
Someday stops making any sense when you type it that many times…

Happy Thanksgiving!

Perspective

A year ago I was fresh off maternity leave, back part-time at a job I hadn’t been at for three months, and feeling unsure of myself in my new role. I was broke (no, like BROKE) with pretty much no social life and about 20 more pounds of baby weight left to lose. Reading the blogs I wrote a year ago, seeing how absorbed I was in having an infant and how much I was still grieving for my old life…I had lost so much of myself in the year leading up to that point, and didn’t even know yet how far I would have to go before I would feel like myself again.

I have new problems now, single/working/broke “Mom” problems, and have admittedly spent most of this fall feeling sorry for myself. My life isn’t how I want it to be! How unfair! I work too much, I never have any money, Holland is basically always asleep when I am with her, not that I would have the energy to play with her anyway. I am making the same poor choices in relationships that I always have, I STILL live in fucking Vancouver. I continue to make lists of goals that I will probably never get to. (Wait, I thought you said these were NEW problems…?)

Things aren’t perfect, but I am so, so, SO much closer to where I want to be than I was a year ago. The worst is definitely over.

consequence

I’m Back!

Stay tuned…