I’ve spent more time with Holland in the past three days than I have probably total in the past three months. Which says something really awesome about my life.
But you don’t care.
Then we can call them on the telephone…
A year ago I was fresh off maternity leave, back part-time at a job I hadn’t been at for three months, and feeling unsure of myself in my new role. I was broke (no, like BROKE) with pretty much no social life and about 20 more pounds of baby weight left to lose. Reading the blogs I wrote a year ago, seeing how absorbed I was in having an infant and how much I was still grieving for my old life…I had lost so much of myself in the year leading up to that point, and didn’t even know yet how far I would have to go before I would feel like myself again.
I have new problems now, single/working/broke “Mom” problems, and have admittedly spent most of this fall feeling sorry for myself. My life isn’t how I want it to be! How unfair! I work too much, I never have any money, Holland is basically always asleep when I am with her, not that I would have the energy to play with her anyway. I am making the same poor choices in relationships that I always have, I STILL live in fucking Vancouver. I continue to make lists of goals that I will probably never get to. (Wait, I thought you said these were NEW problems…?)
Things aren’t perfect, but I am so, so, SO much closer to where I want to be than I was a year ago. The worst is definitely over.
Month One:
Month Two:
Month Three:
Month Four:
Month Five:
Month Six:
Month Seven:
Month Eight:
Month Nine:
Month Ten:
Month Eleven:
Month Twelve:
The Dress
Today I started the 30 Day Shred, a dvd I purchased in DECEMBER. After letting it sit around in the shrinkwrap for six months, today I finally decided to get serious and give it a try. Um, it’s really hard. So that’s a good sign I guess. I am going to try to do it at least three times a week, maybe more. Because…I am fat. I gained 65 – 70 pounds when I was pregnant, and have lost 59 of those pounds. I am so tired of being fat I could rip my hair out. Also, it is summertime now, and I just bought a cute new bathing suit that I guess I am going to have to wear at some point.
(FYI: Mine is black.)
(FYI: That’s not what I look like in it.)
Updates to come.
Baby steps, right?
This week, I am really looking forward to Alana’s wedding! Please go and check out my wedding party write-up on their wedding site. THEN please spend some time admiring my beautiful bridesmaid dress (think dark purple):
69 Days! I can’t wait, Slabs! <3
